A Mother's Role

Being a mother of 3 young and very active sons a lot of you will agree with me that it can get frustrating at times. Sometimes, we get to wonder what extra it is that the fathers do to make their children be so quick to obey them while we mothers have to talk scold and threaten before we get the same result.

When I was growing up, I remember my mother always complaining that we don’t go to our Dad for our requests the way we come to her and I have grown up asking the same questions to my kids. 

 Mothers become like friends to their kids especially when they are really younger. Yes, I want to be the friend they are free to talk to about their worries, fears, joys, the things that get them excited or confused. At the same time, I also want them to realize my authority as their mother and respect that. There should be a balance.

I find myself so many times worrying about it and committing their spirits to God and asking Him to mold them right. One of the best gifts a child can have is a godly mother.

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•  At an early age, your kids should be taught to pray, taught even in the simplest words about the word of God.

• Teach them the importance of forgiveness to apologise when they do wrong and that being truly sorry would yield forgiveness. You can be a good example, I remember the day I came to pick my kids from school and my son complained that I came late. I had to say that I am sorry and make sure my apology was accepted before I started driving home. Children can be impressionable, they learn from people around them.

•  “Train up a child in the way he should go…..” Prov 22:6. No matter how young, try to give them the basic training. Greeting their elders, saying “Thank you”, “I am sorry”, “Excuse me” "Please" table manners tidying up after themselves….. A point will come when you will not have to remind them anymore.Just like conditioning their memory, it will become a habit. Sometimes my husband will be like “They are young, now” or “They are acting their age”. But I am not trying to take away their childhood I just want to start early.

•  Punishment and Reward Heb 12:6-11. Correction has its benefits. I am not heartless, I may be a little strict. If my kid does something wrong, I scold and correct. If they do not show remorse ie like “…is it not Mummy? After talking she will leave us alone…” I take away something they like if they ask why, I use the opportunity to explain that there should be punishment for wrong- that is life. In the same way, I try to reward good. Kids are happy and try to put in extra effort if they know you are happy and are proud of them. Rewarding them encourages them to do more.

• Always pray for your kids. It is your responsibility. Speak God’s word, Prophesy upon their lives. God has put you in the position to do so and He will honour your word.

In all things….it is not by power nor by might, but by the grace of God. He will raise them in the right way, we just have to do our little part and hand over the rest to God.

-Sincerely, Cika!

When God Works

 I remember a friend used to say to me many years ago that God gives us open doors but sometimes we have to give the door a  shove to open. It made me wonder... will that be the will of God?.

 We all know and we have used it many times, the saying "the Kingdom of God suffereth violence and the violent takes it by force" Somethings happen in our lives that leaves us to wonder....If I always have committed my life and plans to the will of God, if He was planning to bless me, would it come by my forcing it out or cajoling to influence it?

 I have sown seeds, I have exercised patience, waited and I have kept the faith. Yes, I have.... It is always best to allow God to have His complete work in you.

 No, we cannot make God do anything that is not His will. If you had to influence it or cajole and it is not His will, it will may look God at first but it will not last. He can use anyone to help you even those who do not like you, who do not know you. It may not come the way you wanted it to...But it always comes with PEACE.

 Keep on staying in His will, keep on waiting. When he answers you I can assure you that he will exceed your expectations. He did mine... It will be obvious that it is God working. He will share His glory with no man.



Sincerely, Cika!

Spending Time With Your Children

Have been MIA for some time now. Basically the kids have been on holiday and after 2 long months with 3 active boys schools are reopening on Monday......been some journey. 

 Spending so much time with them has made me realize how much children treasure their parents presence.... If I get frustrated, I usually would ask them if they rather I get them a Nanny so I don't stand so much in their way. The answer I always get is "No!" 

 After spending this whole 2 months with them I have learnt a few things.....

- You get to teach them what you want them to learn. You notice some wrong conceptions they have gathered over time, from friends and Nannies and you get to correct it. At least it is a teaching you trust. You get to model good behavior, habits and morals as children are ready to copy grown ups.

- The more time you spend with them, the closer you get and they learn to talk to you. I remember the day my kids told me "Mummy, we saw kissing in our channel.....we don't like Little Charmers sef" I tried so hard not to make a big deal about it, not to scare them away so they will still be able to talk to me.

- You get to learn the strengths of your children....you notice weaknesses too. This will help you know the areas to work on, to encourage. You notice the child that needs a firm hand to handle and the one that needs more hugs.....lol! I have both. I try as much as possible to build them up to make them better and have self confidence no matter what little tiny doubts they may have. 

 When you are always there to listen and laugh and behave like a child with them, it builds their self esteem and relieves you of some stress....even though I had times I had to send them back to their room so I can have some alone time, they always came back to ask me what I am doing.

 I must confess, it was not all rosy. There were frustrating times when I had to wonder what they were thinking or if they will ever get tired of shouting (guessing how long it will take before one looses his voice and how funny it will be.....but it never happened). I always had one prayer in mind.... Lord, please teach me how to raise my children right.